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    Tiffany Haddish, Chrissy Teigen, Sanaa Lathan, and Beyoncé Know Who The Mystery Biter Is

    The whole celebrity crew is trying to keep it on the hush of who bit Beyoncé on the cheek. While rumors speculated Sanaa Lathan became a target. Why, Sanaa Lathan? Maybe because she has a close up photo of her and Beyoncé, but can you really imagine Sanaa Lathan biting someone’s face? NO!! According to Chrissy Teigen it was someone who they really like, who apparently socialites really like. Chrissy say’s we would be surprised that this person is on drugs. We would totally be surprised to know if Sanaa Lathan is on drugs, and even more surprised if we knew she bit Beyoncé.

    Last December, Haddish met Beyoncé Knowles-Carter at a party. Beyoncé walked up and said, “I’m Beyoncé”—the understatement of the century—and the two women had a brief, pleasant exchange. But that’s not the story. “There was this actress there,” continues Haddish, keeping her voice low, “that’s just, like, doing the mostest.” One of the most things she did? “She bit Beyoncé in the face.”

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    “I absolutely cannot comment on any of this, as I have no knowledge,” said Beyoncé’s representative, Yvette Noel-Schure, when GQ sought confirmation from the singer.)

    “So Beyoncé stormed away,” Haddish says, “went up to Jay-Z, and was like, ‘Jay! Come here! This bitch—’ and snatched him. They went to the back of the room. I was like, ‘What just happened?’ And Beyoncé’s friend walked up and was like, ‘Can you believe this bitch just bit Beyoncé?’ “
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    “And so then…,” she continues, “a lot of things happened.”

    According to Haddish, she and the actress continued to cross paths throughout the night, culminating in a brief standoff. The actress, at one point, told Haddish to stop dancing, which—good luck making that happen.

    “And then Beyoncé and Jay-Z walked by me, and I tapped Beyoncé.”

    Haddish says she told Beyoncé, “I’m going to beat somebody ass at your party. I just want to let you know that.” Beyoncé asked her not to—told her to “have fun” instead. (Haddish leveraged this moment into a selfie with Beyoncé.)

    “Near the end of the party,” says Haddish, describing her final run-in with Mrs. Carter sometime later, “Beyoncé’s at the bar, so I said to Beyoncé, ‘Did she really bite you?’ She was like, ‘Yeah.’ I was like, ‘She gonna get her ass beat tonight.’ She was like, ‘Tiffany, no. Don’t do that. That bitch is on drugs. She not even drunk. The bitch is on drugs. She not like that all the time. Just chill.’

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    “Haddish held this story in for as long as she could. Weeks. When people asked about what happened when she met Beyoncé, she tried to remain vague: “I’m not at liberty to say,” she would explain. But Haddish is feeling good in this particular moment on this particular whale watch, and because her personality is perilously infectious, when Tiffany is feeling good, the whole world in her immediate vicinity gets better. She’s exploring the open water with no cell service. (Later, on land, Haddish will open her phone to realize it has logged hundreds of text messages and missed calls.) She’s already seen some whales, more dolphins, and tons of sea lions, to whom she called, “Arf arf!” The sun is intoxicating, and the wind is riffling her wig and gently cooling the piping hot Cup O’ Noodles in her hand. (“Cup O’ Noodles is only two dollars!” Haddish whisper-gasped when she saw that Cup O’ Noodles was only two dollars.) Right now Tiffany Haddish is too happy to keep a tale this juicy bottled up inside her any longer.

    “There’s people out here biting Beyoncé!” she says, incredulous.

    We take it that Beyoncé, Tiffany, Sanaa, and Chrissy are trying to protect this person from the beyhive stinging the crap out of them. According to TMZ Sanaa Lathan has actually told a few of her friends that she did bite Beyoncé. Sanaa Lathan could be trying to keep it from the socialites because she doesn’t want people to know she does drugs, if her friends are telling the truth of course. Meanwhile she is under protection with other celebs denying it and saving her from the beyhive. Let’s be serious as Tiffany Haddish would say “They Ready”!.


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