Mental health is a hot topic among celebrities these days, and Lil Wayne is the latest star to engage in the conversation.
The Young Money Entertainment record label founder opened up about his personal experience with mental health issues, recounting the moments that led up to him shooting himself in 1994, but this time admitting that his decision was intentional.
The rapper opened up about the incident on a Sunday, Aug. 15, episode of “Uncomfortable Conversations with Emmanuel” and said it took place when he was 12 years old near the end of the school year. Wayne, born Dwyane Michael Carter, explained that his school was doing “half days” but he lied and told his mother, Jacida Carter, that two of the days were full days so he could hang out longer.
Carter said his aunt called to tell him that his mother found out and said, “she’s about to take that rap folder, she about to throw that sh-t away.” Earlier in the interview, Wayne said he had a burning desire to rap and that he was “willing to die for it.” So when his aunt said his mother would discard the rap folder he felt a “buildup,” which led to a lot of thoughts in his head. However, his “main thought was ‘I’m going to show you.’”
With knowledge of where his mother kept his gun, Wayne said he called the police, got the weapon, went to the mirror and after contemplating where to shoot himself he put the gun to his chest and pulled the trigger. Cops later got there and one cop, in particular, Robert Hobbler, picked a bleeding Wayne off the floor, saying, “You’re not going to die on me.”
In the past, once he first reached stardom, Wayne continually described the incident as an “accident.” But his verse in Solange’s 2016 song “Mad” suggested otherwise. He said, “And when I attempted suicide, I didn’t die. I remember how mad I was on that day.” He later confirmed speculations in the final song of his 2018 album “Tha Carter V.” In the latter half of the track titled “Let It All Work Out” he relives the moment in his verse:
“I found my mama’s pistol where she always hide it. I cry, put it to my head, and thought about it. Nobody was home to stop me, so I called my auntie. Hung up, then put the gun up to my heart and pondered. Too much was on my conscience to be smart about it.
Too torn apart about it, I aim where my heart was pounding. I shot it, and I woke up with blood all around me. It’s mine, I didn’t die, but as I was dying God came to my side and we talked about it. He sold me another life, and he made a profit.”
Further into his chat with Acho, Wayne revealed that while he survived the shooting, the woman he knew as his mother “was gone.” The 38-year-old described his mom as someone he previously could not express his pain and thoughts to. But he said the nearly tragic moment was “an eye-opener for her” and added that “the mom I knew before that day. … I have never met or seen or heard that lady again in my life.”